In my paper I mainly follow the idea of affirming to the scholars ideas such as Gee and Brandt. My paper is supporting and adding different context to their definition of a sponsor or apprentice. Throughout my paper my peers did agree that I showed a lot of Gee and Brandt to support my main idea and used good literacy narratives to use as data. Although my peers did rise a concern that there is not enough “I say” throughout my paper, such as summarizing to allow the reader to understand more. My main point in this paper is to prove how important apprenticeship/ sponsorship is to a student learning growth and how the lack of effort from a sponsor can effect a student forever. In order to successfully affirm the scholars I do need to add more terms from both the scholars to strengthen my paper, which was suggested from my peers. I do think that I am with the revisions from my peers driving home the point that literacy is based on a great sponsor that shows continuous amounts of effort and welcome a student to a healthy free environment.
The one thing I struggled with throughout was the introduction of the literacy narratives. I did set them up naming the article and author but not enough background with all of them to show what they were feeling, or for the reader to clearly understand what happened in that literacy narrative. I do set up the quotes I use well and do not have to much summarization, just about a sentence or two per quote. I think I need to when writing my next draft think more so as a reader and not a writer. I mean that by making sure I explain everything enough so if someone never read any of the source I’m using would understand.
As of evidence from scholarly sources I do think that I hit that one home. I do have mostly everything that I am affirming to them in my paper. I do think I could add some keywords and definitions to strengthen my paper, but nothing to drastic. As for data, or literacy narratives I do think I should search for one or two narratives that better support my idea. My third literacy narrative does really support where I’m going now that I have talked to my peers. The third paragraph is where I need to focus on for better data.
collreadwrit2e
