Below I put an updated paragraph from my first draft that originally didn’t follow the TRIAC guidelines. I have tried my best to form a TRIAC paragraph with one literary narrative and one scholar text. It was kind of difficult to reform my paragraph into a TRIAC paragraph but I followed the google doc outline given. I started with my topic being that the lack of engagement in elementary level classrooms causes negative feedback, then went into going into more detail by saying it was because of lack of effort and communication. I then followed this with quotes from a literacy narrative and analysis the quote. I last explained the connection between sponsorship with Brandt shows that there is more effort shown through a sponsor.
Revised paragraph:
In elementary education there is the idea that the teachers aren’t going the extra mile to engage with their students. Engagement with students shows that there is effort demonstrated in the classroom which can lead to a positive effect. The ways to engage with student is through communication. Communication is shown to have a positive effect by reading Paige Hibbard’s literacy narrative Live or Die, when she says “She and I made a deal. If I needed help with my school work, she would help me or she would find someone who would help me” (Hibbard 2). Hibbard explains that her teacher made a positive impact on her just through being there for her one and one, not just as a teacher. Beforehand in Hibbard’s elementary years she didn’t have anyone to trust she was always just told that she wasn’t good enough to be in a normal English class by being thrown into the class because of my NECAPS which I never really tried on in middle school” (Hibbard 1). No one was ever there for her one and one, so she never showed the effort. Which can affect the way she displayed her academics. Brandt agrees that a sponsor is a positive impact by stating a sponsor is any agents, local or distant, concrete or abstract, who enable support, teach, model, as well as recruit, regulate, suppress, or withhold literacy–and gain advantage by it in some way” (556). In order to allow a student to have a positive impact a literacy sponsor must support or model literacy which take the effort of engagements and communication.
collreadwrit2e
