Below I have attached my revised paragraph for the Barclays formula technique. I did this by taking my 2nd body paragraph and rearranging the structure to fit this formula. I started by stating the topic I will be starting off with such as the idea of disapline in younger education. I then introduced the literacy narrative that supported my arguement and explained what it was saying. Following that I transitioned from the narrative to the idea Gee talked about how someone can know the rules of english but doesn’t mean they are fluent in it. I finally ended the paragraph with my next topic.
Barclays paragraph:
Most students view elementary level schooling as form of discipline. As Jess Larson states in her literacy narrative The Best Teacher I Ever Did Have her neagitve experience in middle school due to the strict requirements. Larson explains that “English class hasn’t been easy for me until I reached high school because my teachers focused more on disciplining us middle schoolers instead of elaborating on lesson plans” (1). Larson explains that this discipline is a way of brainwashing the students into knowing the rules of writing which is helpful, but not everyday will you be able to follow the generic writing rules. Larson explains how she was able to to change her outlook based on the freedom she received in high school by valueing creative writing and changing her writing actions. As Gee would explain that “It is a truism that a person can know perfectly that grammar of a language and not know how to use the language” (1). What Gee is explaining that even though Larson knew all of the information about the rules of literacy didn’t mean she knew how to write a good paper. The reason being because she didn’t know how to say what she felt in her writing, she would be too busy using the rules. Not realizing that she can be creative along as she is following a strict schedule to stay on track.
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